Edited for the First Time by Dr. Charles Cordiner, Emeritus Professor of Phrenology at Fraserburgh University.

What's this all about?

In April 1891, two matters greatly excite the inhabitants of Edinburgh: the decennial Population Census; and the Annual General Meeting of the Edinburgh Society for the Propagation of a Universal Language. The General Secretary of the Society, Mr. Justice, is a staunch champion of the highly-popular language "Volapük", which spread across Europe after 1884; but he is locked in a battle for ascendancy with Dr. Bosman, shameless apologist for "Esperanto". Other members of the Society promote inferior Universal Languages, and rightly merit Mr. Justice's contempt.
In the weeks prior to the AGM of the Edinburgh Society, Mr. Justice descends the east coast of Scotland, partly in pursuit of his trade as a respected repairer of church organs, partly to conduct classes in the grammar and vocabulary of Volapük. As he proceeds southwards from the Moray Firth, he records the lessons given to artisans, the exercises set for them, and his own wide-ranging speculations on Language as a tool for social change.
The AGM will decide which of the two rivals will win the struggle for the hearts and minds of their comrades; and much effort is expended by both parties in wooing the non-aligned comrades. But Mr. Justice has a secret weapon - an old gentleman whom he met in distant Cromarty, and who has promised to bring the majority of the Society into Mr. Justice's camp.
But the AGM does not deliver the expected victory; certain snakes in the grass conspire against Mr. Justice's plan. The true character of the old gentleman from Cromarty is revealed in all its treachery. After an epic debate, some scones, and many cups of tea, Mr. Justice ill-advisedly decides to kidnap Dr. Bosman, teach him some Volapük grammar, and retreat with him to the Mavisbank Private Lunatic Asylum, in Midlothian. In the next few days spent at Mavisbank, Mr. Justice has the leisure to discuss Language with the Residents, to reflect on the nature of his cause, and to question its justification.

The publication of this novel seems to have triggered an interesting number of responses among the International Language community - particularly in the USA. Some like it, some really don't...

• Reviews...

• Scotland on Sunday A bloody funny romp... Drummond is clearly a master of language, his touch is deft. This is a lively book, sparkling with wit and ideas.
• The Independent A really enjoyable farrago. As a wildly comic and surreal satire of every pedantry going, it could scarcely be bettered.
• Sunday Herald A cornucopia of wit, fantasy and idiosyncrasy...this seriously comic novel is one of a kind.
  

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  Click here to read more of these reviews... ⇓

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  The Scotsman, 19th August 2006
  'Just like An Abridged History, all this is backed up by credible geography, a good knowledge of railway history and even tramway history for 1891, so once the reader buys the central narrative character, Mr Justice the organ-tuner, his increasingly baffling adventures roll out with a Volapük lesson every few pages to keep the attention sharp. The whole book is a joke: the advertisements at the end are a joke: the translations are a joke. It's a long joke, but on balance it works.'

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  Scotland on Sunday, 27th August 2006
  'It is difficult to conceive of the ambition Drummond brings to this novel. The book is framed with a traditional mystery, complete with body parts, a swooning maid and a mysterious message. Language is a great subject for Drummond as he is clearly a master of it, so much so that he spends his time on creating new ways to fool, beguile and wow readers. This is a lively book, sparkling with wit and ideas, but it is also no-mean commentary on an era...'

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  The Independent, 1st September 2006
  'As a wildly comic and surreal satire of every pedantry going, it could scarcely be bettered. The main theme of this delirious fantasy is the obsessional attraction of systems and procedures, and the zeal of their proponents. This is a hugely inventive second novel: don't miss its appendices and, as with Abridged History, the closing advertisements. There's only one word for his achievement: Bafö!'

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  Sunday Herald, 10th September 2006
  'The campaign for a universal language may sound a dry subject. Not so in Andrew Drummond's A Handbook of Volapük, a cornucopia of wit, fantasy and idiosyncrasy. Interspersed with lessons in Volapük, their content cunningly tied into the crazy plot, this seriously comic novel is one of a kind...Pöfüdik!'

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  TimesOnline, 29th September 2006
  'Drummond`s writing happily bears comparison with [Alasdair] Gray's brand of Gothic fantasy... The novel is a send-up of academic squabbling, bureaucratic faffing and intellectual egotism...'

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  The Melbourne Age 25 November 2006:
  '...This mercilessly funny novel...A Handbook of Volapuk is an entertaining comic ride into a most peculiar linguistic curiosity.'

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  Professor Michael D. Gordin, August 2018:
  (Rosengarten Professor of Modern and Contemporary History, Princeton University, and author of Scientific Babel, 2015)
  'A Handbook of Volapük is not only my favorite novel about constructed languages ... but it is also the most useful textbook of Volapük that I’ve found. ... The construction of [the] novel is simply brilliant. So much research on constructed languages, so many lovely inside jokes, and the plot and characters work on their own terms as fiction.'

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  Amazon Customer reviews:
  'This is a very entertaining historical novel with several scenes that made me laugh out loud... [The hero's] conflicts with the proponents of other constructed languages are hilarious and will seem startlingly familiar to anyone who has been involved in this milieu.'
   
  'The structure of the book, with the preface and postscript by the phrenologist who discovered Mr. Justice's papers and edited them for publication, and the main section with Mr. Justice's narrative of his travels interspersed with lessons in Volapük (more or less integrated into the narrative, in amusing ways) is very satisfying'
   
  'Andrew Drummond, in his first novel An Abridged History and in this latest offering, is in process of creating a unique style of writing that keeps his readers on their toes. He displays a fertile imagination in constructing his plots, thoroughly backed up with research in order to accurately depict historical context...In addition to enjoying a good read, you can even learn the basics of this universal language, which may stand you in good stead should it ever catch on.'

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  Blog review (The Celestial Weasel), 30 November 2006:
  '...a fine book... It is one of those books that one is pleased has been done well because clearly once it has been done no-one can ever do it again... adding Urquhart to the novel is a stroke of genius...'

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  Esperanto USA (Bulletin of the Esperanto League for North America), Autumn 2006:
  ...The lessons...are generally as funny as the rest of the story; which is to say, very funny indeed...What more could you ask for?...' Click here to read the entire review (which is here reproduced with thanks)...

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• Dare one ask - what is Volapük?
• 'Vol' - the world; 'a' - the possessive suffix; 'pük' - speech: thus, 'world-speech'.
• When Invented?  1879
• By whom?  Herr Johann Schleyer, of Germany
• What is it? A 'universal language', enabling people of different nations to talk and write a common language.
  
• Vükiped? Want to see my entry in the Volapük Wikipedia? (I bet you never knew such a thing existed...)

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  To view even more of the things you never even dared to ask, click here...

Why on earth did I write about Volapük ?

Put these matters and themes together with my other transient interests of the past couple of years: a private Lunatic Asylum once housed in a crumbling country residence featured in Restoration; the first Scottish hot-air balloonist; the mechanics of church organs; the decennial Population Census; and Arbroath Smokies. You have exactly one hour to construct an unlikely plot...

Discussions and interviews...

Textualities, October 2006
'Hannah Adcock explores the facts and fictions of the quest for a perfect language in her review of books by Andrew Drummond and Umberto Eco...'

I was interviewed, by email, by Jim Henry of the Esperanto movement in the USA - click here to read the interview.