SIT YOURSELF DOWN AND WELCOME...

...to Andy Drummond's website. Full of things you probably never needed to know. But full of things nonetheless, which counts for something in these days of sharp practice and perpetual disappointment. Some news (conceivably old news) is set out below. Stuff about me and my books is available left, right and (above) centre.
Read more below on Angels, Referendums (again and again), Golf-courses (inevitably), Cocks, Bulls and other Animals, Curious Languages and the price of Snuff and Pickled Herring.

Stay a while, if you can. Be cynical. Always ask questions. Always read stories.

NEWS AND OTHER IMPONDERABLES

Never heard of Volapük ??? (March 2017)

It was with some surprise that I was alerted to a question on the BBC's University Challenge that cited my book on Volapük. Gratifyingly, none of the students involved knew the correct answer. For those willing and able, the episode is available on BBC i-Player for a limited time. For those of you more appreciative of murky and grainy pirated footage, watch here on YouTube In either case, to avoid the humiliation of not knowing any answers to any questions, jump to around 14mins 30secs to start watching...

Stories, more stories !! (February 2017)

I've put some more short stories on my Stories page (so where else would I put them?). In a darkening world, a ray of light? And, of course, some new Tweets from our Great Leader. Click here to have a rummage about...
...and around 200 other stories for your amusement, free of charge.
For the Turkey-lovers amongst you, a collection of their chronicles is now available in paperback. Most excellent for funerals, children's birthday-parties and winter colds.

You have a new President? I have a once-used Apocalypse. (December 2016)

In celebration of The Mighty Trump Organisation's™ successful bid for immortality, my friend and colleague Murdo Mondane has transferred his book about golfing to paperback format - click here to be sorely tempted. Has Mr Mondane rejected Kindle and similar electronic contraptions? Hardly. The original format of the book can still be found here...

Intriguing! Ignominious! Fact? Fiction? Whatever. (December 2016)

Maurice Benyovszky - the cover - click to view full-size Amidst all this perfectly justifiable doom and gloom (see below, and probably above as well, by the time you read this), some glimmering of hope: news of the forthcoming publication of my book on the 18th-century Hungarian (or Slovak, if you incline that way) adventurer, Maurice Benyovszky. You can read more about him here - his amazing adventures amongst the Alaskans and the Aleutians, the Japanese and the Formosans, the French and - not least - the admiring Madagascans. A man quite unstoppable in his breathless - and entirely post-factual - autobiography. For more information about the book which is due out in the summer, click here to view the Spring/Summer catalogue of Transaction Press (an imprint of Routledge). Can you even wait?

The Similarity between a Putting-Green and the White House Lawn (November 2016)

So what happened there, then? The Mighty Trump has got himself into the White House? Logic clearly played no great role in that selection. Those of you who are American citizens: we wish you good luck - you will certainly need it. Those of us who are not can only feel nervous: what will actually befall us first? The abandonment of any measures to contain climate change? The obliteration of North Korea? A cold-hearted division of the world between America and Russia? Or simply an increase in the rate at which abandoned voters (USA included) move to the Right? Where is the resurgent Left when you most need it? Will there be a post-Trump era? Will America be Great Again? (Questions, questions: I only ask).

The Hopeless Short-sightedness of Beings (July 2016)

You know that something has gone badly wrong when it is applauded by Donald Trump and a rabid assortment of European neo-Fascists. Leaving Europe behind makes them all very happy indeed. But let's face it - the British people have been abandoned, or hoodwinked, and preferably both, by all their politicians. And it's not only the British people in this parlous state. Who, now, would trust any politician, anywhere? And yet - politics is the only solution: that, or a gradual descent into Apocalypse.
We must move on, I suppose, and embrace the New Reality. But how nice it would be if, in the not-too-distant future, we could be part of a Europe that was not victim to the endless spirals of ambitious bureaucracy and the mean-spirited posturing of competing national interests. Will it happen? Who can guess? Perhaps all voting should be restricted to those aged 16-40, to cut out narrow-mindedness, and re-invigorate with a measure of idealism?

Of Hats, Angels and Remorse (April 2016)

The Lady Grange - the cover - click to view full-size If your interests encompass (as I'm sure they do) : the western isles of Scotland; hat-fashions during the Scottish Enlightenment; Cherubim and godly modes of transport; the Gaelic names for Snow-white and the Seven Dwarves; the fate of the unfortunate Lady Grange; and very irritating poetry: then I now have the very book for you.
Set in the years 1739-1745 in Scotland, it tells two intertwining stories - that of the unfortunate Lady Grange who found herself imprisoned on the island of St Kilda by a well-meaning husband; and that of the Cherub of Desire, who just happened to drop in on her, before taking an ill-fated holiday in Edinburgh.
You can read all about the new book by clicking just here. Or you can just miss out the guff, and go straight to checkout: Available in printed and Kindle formats.

Found a Volapük word, and really don't know what to do with it? (Summer 2015)

Well now - we have the very dab, a new toy to play with. An App, if you will. So 21st Century!
But seriously: this toy will do its level best to translate words and numbers from English into Volapük, and Volapük words into English. Most of the time. Not all the time. But when it works, it is so rewarding!
For benefit of the academicians, I have called it the pükabumöm (pük = speech, bum = build, öm = apparatus...)
Go on - why not try it, just once: - just click here and you'll be away on another planet...

Thomas Müntzer - who he? (August 2015)

Muntzer I've been developing an English-language website in celebration of the 16th-century German radical, Thomas Müntzer. You might not know it yet, but he is a fascinating figure, one I've been pursuing for most of my adult life. To see what's what, just click once here.

Volapük corrected (July 2015)

A young Volapük aficionado from China has kindly contacted me to point out some grammatical errors on my '9 Things You Never Thought to Ask' web-page - look on the Volapük page. These have now been hastily and shamefacedly corrected. And none of the rest of you noticed until now? - you never thought to ask? - for shame! Thank you, Daniel Zhang and your Volapükaklub : oli danoms; studs ola plöponös !

Elephants from Amsterdam ! (April 2015)

De Witte OliphantDutch author Michiel Roscam Abbing has just published his research into the early history of the Dundee Elephant. It makes for fascinating reading. This was a well-travelled Elephant, and one who could do a whole series of tricks for the greater amusement of the 18th century public. Click here for more details...
 

What I'm working on just now? (January 2015)

A bit of this and, really, a bit of that.

Yet another Scottish Referendum Fantasy !! (December 2014)

Most of us have come to terms with the result of the Great Scottish Independence Referendum of 2014. That was the last one : but guess what? - another one will come along soon. In celebration of the former and in preparation for the latter, here's a tale which might cheer you up, whichever way you were disappointed: Brigadoon, Ostriches, Fairytale characters and the Referendum, all jumbled up and presented in readable format... or indeed (for the more adventurous types) in Kindle format.

PS !! (November 2014)

I signed a contract with the publishers of an excellent series of short-story anthologies, Postcripts. I have written three longish short stories set in the early 20th century, each dealing with an historical matter which almost certainly has been puzzling you for some time. The third of these has now appeared. Visit the Postscripts web-site to discover more about these anthologies (specifically Volumes 26/27, 30/31 and 32/33) or look at the index for the most recent volume.

A Cock and a Bull Story (September 2012)

I was very pleased to be asked to contribute an appreciation of my all-time favourite novel to a blog run by the late Norman Geras, emeritus professor of Politics at Manchester. My book of choice was, of course, Laurence Sterne's The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, which should be required reading for all adults. My short notes can be found here...and also, indeed... also here

Beware ... ! (May 2012)

I spent some of the darker days of a recent winter transcribing a 17th Century text by an Ipswich schoolmaster named Cave Beck. His Universal Character was one of the very first attempts to promote a Universal Language - sadly, it failed to do much - a bit like a Mayan Apocalypse. I am pleased to say that the Language Creation Society in the US has kindly agreed to host - and even promote - my transcription on their on-line journal : click here to be entertained and instructed ...

Neckties? (2012)

The original idea for my story about Big Horace and his tie collection came from a stray email from Belgium; now, however, the most excellent Museum of Corporate Neckties (late of California, now expanding into Arizona) has adopted Big Horace: their site rewards a visit... We hope for further sponsorship in these straitened times!

Depressed? I'll give you depressed...

Photograph of Mr David Kininmonth, an elderly relative of the author My mentor, Mr Kininmonth (the elder) ...
...politely requests that you leave this site - and the rest of our fragile planet - as tidy as (or tidier than) you found it; but, as in the matters of the rising price of snuff and the declining standard of pickled herring, is resigned to disappointment...

Alas! Mr. Kininmonth, you look how I sometimes feel - why? Click here to find out more, if you dare.